Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Hi, My Name Is Sisyphus, And This Is My Boulder.

At least that's how I feel today. I put in something like 5 to 6 cumulative hours on household/family maintenance today, and when I went to bed, everything was just the same as it was when I got up. It's defeating, and it leads to a view of the days, months, and years stretching out before me in household futility.

I mean, I understand that there's something to be said for maintaining the status quo--in fact, it's my very failure to do that which has led me to the point where I'm puking up said failure all over the Internets. I understand how important it is to do those "little things," those thankless tasks that keep a family running. I do. But if I'm doing THAT all the time, how will I ever have time to make anything BETTER?

I mean...hours, literal HOURS on my feet in the house today, with nothing to show for it except that...well, it's not WORSE. Which, I suppose, is more than I could have said at bedtime a couple of weeks ago. When I think of what my mother came home to every day after work when I was a kid, I want to go back in time and slap myself stupid for a.) not cleaning up after my dang SELF, and b.) not kissing her feet in appreciation on a daily basis. Crap, I'm about to cry right now.

After cooking and serving dinner, and Bella's bedtime, and cleanup of dinner, and feeding of dogs and horses, and walking of dogs, and gathering of laundry, when I finally sat down at 10:40 PM, it was with one of the last remaining boxes from the infamous pile. When I opened it, it was full of such random, I-Have-No-Place-To-Put-It-But-I-Can't-Throw-It-Away STUFF, that I just took out the few books (those, at least, I can shelve) and closed it right back up. And left it sitting there, on the loveseat, and turned out the light and went to bed. Which is where I am now. Crying into my computer over the fact that (and yes, this is just hitting home in a big way--I'm a slow learner) THIS NEVER ENDS. And also that if I stop, even for a minute, we begin to slide backward. Again.

I would like to thank my husband for, without being asked, having apparently voluntarily taken up the mantle of chief dishwasher in the last couple of weeks. It is much appreciated. I'm about a thousand times more likely to cook you good food if the dishes I need to use to do so are already clean. I'll take advantage of Canadian Thanksgiving time to count my blessings.

Seriously, achievers, how do you cope? And how do you carve IMPROVEMENT time out of your meager allotment of MAINTENANCE time?


paper napkin said...

The beginning is hard, because there's so much backlog. But you can get to a place where the maintenance is fairly easy. Promise! You can do it! What are the biggest problem ares right now?

Erin said...

I don't know. I'm always falling behind on the maintenance stuff, myself.

And also? You And Sheryl have inspired me. I cleaned up the back bonus bedroom and hall closet of our house last night. But now I'm tired. And sneezy, from all the dust.

Belinda said...

Geez, I can't even define a "biggest problem" right now. There's this horrifying Laundry Monster in the hearthroom, which can't be put away because I can't access my closet because there's so much junk in front if it, which has no real place to go because I have yet to organize the storage areas (which are surprisingly limited, for a house of this size), which I keep putting off in one room because it must be painted (seriously--there is a surfboard mural and the giant-lettered name "KAYLEB" painted on the wall; I briefly just considered changing Bella's name when we moved) first, and I can't paint until the carpets are shampooed, which can't be done until the floors are cleared of various boxes and piles of random STUFF...

I'm considering attacking our bathroom when I get home. At least that would be a difference I could SEE.

Snoskred said...

You just have to take one step at a time to get there. That's what I found.

Day planners have saved my life in many respects and they might be useful to you so you can see just how much you are getting done each day. I wrote more about it yesterday..

Time Management